..In Pursuit Of My Future..

When i got back to school tadi, it was around 12.30, i looked around on my orchids..And guess what?!!one of my orchid finally blooms..It a wild orchid, spider orchid..I bought my orchids in January last year, im really intto orchids..Im kinda fascinated on them..wild ones, it looks so magnificent..It so darn beautiful and at the same time it has this wild personality, it reminds of me sometimes..

I bought it in KL last year, bought 5 other types of these wild spider orchids..And from that point on i have been taking care of it, a very intensive care, giving it fertilisers cutting its withered leaves and all..When i bought it it was just this small plant, where the only thins seen is just its less than 5 centimeters leaves..So yeah, did intensive care for like 15 months, then i stopped seems like the flower doesnt wanna grow.

So i left it uncared for like 5 months, i didnt take a look on it or what so ever, the flower didnt grew so yeah, i was really frustrated about it, all those inensive cares..is it like throwing salt on to the sea?..Lately last few weeks ive been really moody and emo and all..Everything seems to fall apart..and im breaking down..

So yea tadi, i decide to look around my house, and as i stumbled on my orchids, these group of orchids of mine, then there it is..A flower blooming, one of my orchid finally grew its flower, and damn it blooms really beautiful..Its My Purple Orchid..

Its kinda weird, wild orchids needs a really good intensive care but tadi, it didnt even need my care and all..it just bloom there out of nowhere..Its kinda weird that my orchid just bloomed, in this time of the year..This year has been a really emotional year for me, with what happening around..and yea, i feel down oftenly..Emo and all..

Is this orchid a sign, it feels like its telling me to bloom twice..I was really emo when i saw the flowers blooming..someway, this feeling..wanting to better myself like i used too..but am i gonna bloom again?this year has been really hard for me..it seems like darker days will live in me..

In ways that is hard to explain..I should bloom twice this year, all those dark days, its time to give colour in to it..it feels like a signal fire for me to outshine again.. :')

I just want to say thank you to this certain someone, im glad to have met her..She was everything to me..Im such a lucky guy to have known her deeply..He did so many great things to me, at a time i really hated myself, at a time when i was clouded in darkness..She came as a light, guiding me where to go which path to choose..and she made me love myself back, all the hatred was gone..Thank you so much

All those pain i had this year, you were generous enough to have let me share my pain..You were also great inspiration to me, she is a really tough girl..The toughest girl i have met..Youre a superwomen to me..You always inspire me, you were the oil that blaze a small fire into an inferno in me..You also played a big part in me playing for the nationals this year, with you all of it would be just a dream..

Thank you.

Im glad that i had the chance to repay you back, by being a compass that guides you and show which path to go..Thanks for giving me the chance to to share all your pain too..Thanks for trusting me, im really honoured ..You made me feel special.. :')

Thank you for letting me enter your life, knowing you very deeply..understanding you, being your best friend. Youre my hero.

But it feels like its the right choice, we both dont want to crash and burn sooner or later..We ending all of these, its okay..it may not seem fair..but we both chose this path..whats done is done, we cant undone whats done..we just have to be patient..let it be.

Out all of the things you remembered me as, i dont know how you will think or remembered me as..Out all of those things put that a side..all i want you to remember me is a guy who loves his friends and family very dearly, a guy who would sacrifice himself for you, would do anything to save you, even if it means sending himself to heaven... " A guy who loves you"

sorry im expressing my self on this in my blog, on us..When i know everything is meant to be broken i just want you to know who i am..and who you were to me..

Bye and take care always :)





Khairul Bahzi Jomari <3

Hye Guys!!!!! havent really update myself on my blog..Coz i was buzy on stuff, this and that, here and there..phewww!So many things had happened to me in the past few weeks, was in tears often..August had been an emotional month for me, darn..With what has happened between me and her, school, football and yada3..but im okay now. everythings aiite..

Ive also met this wonderful girl, her name is Dk. Siti Nor Alawiah..she is realy a someone..She is amazingly amazing, surprisingly-surprising, awesomely-awesome and super funny..she cheered me up always, haha..Even when im super emo, she manages to cheer everything up..thanks wii, glad i have met you :)..


So yeah now everything is okay EXCEPT school, im still tryna catch up due to 2 weeks as a national football player :p haha!!..yea, thats all